Moments
by Contrasting-Death
Summary: One-shot. Somebody once said that we at times see our lifes flash before our eyes. Some people don't have "flashes". They enter a library of brilliantly colored memories when they need strength.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, it'd probably suck and nobody would read it.

**MOMENTS by ContrestingDeath**

There are moments in one's life when time stands still and everything around goes silent. Times like these often conjure distant memories forward, small insignificant moments at the moment but at that time meant so much. The day when there was time to buy take-out and go all the way to the Hokage monument to eat it there while watching the golden sunset. In the memory, every second is filled with the feeling of everything just being enough. Satisfaction. The sun's last beams make the world around you peaceful and warm. There is a feeling of being ridiculously happy, yet calm, perceptive, yet fuzzy, collected, yet apart of it all. You belong there at that moment. You belong to that place while eating your take-out and you think: this is all I will ever need.

Then you gaze down onto the village that you live in, tearing your eyes from that warm and loving sun, and realize that you are absolutely all alone. Down there people are going home to be greeted by their family: a wife and children, just a wife, just children or if so only a cat or dog. Another being awaiting their arrival. Everyone is alone, these people are just less of it. I'm absolutely alone because the only moment of the day, when people will miss me, is when I don't show up for training. Other than that I live completely outside people's habits in this village. A mission, a lunch together or just a talk is moments that are rare for each one of these individuals even if I talk to at least one of them everyday. There is no antonym to alone because there is no such phenomenon.

There are moments in ones life when time stands still and everything around goes quiet. Then diffused memories start to sprout in the pink mud of the brain. You remember when you where young and wanted to hold that strangers hand because then, you believed, they would take you home with them. In that moment however, you know from previous tries that the most you'll get out of reaching out your pale, thin hand towards that other warm, strong hand will only end in tears. Or if it's the wrong person that you're reaching for, blood. But for a moment you like to pretend that you can. That you can reach out and someone accepts it and takes you home to love you, just as much as you'd like to be loved.

There are moments in ones life when time stands still and everything around goes hushed, no more than background noise. A memory of standing in the middle of a classroom, waiting for a cue to show just how much you've studied since last time. You wait for the teacher to look up and see you. See that you are ready to answer. They see, but you cannot answer, because they are already waiting for you to fail. They are already mocking your tries and you sit down again, without saying anything. After that, you never study for class. What's the point? Nobody here or home will care anyway.

After those heart-chilling moments, there are moments when everything moves so fast you can hardly keep track of your own fingers. In moments like this, you know you're alive because the present is the only thing existing, no memories from before, no abstract feelings and ideas in your head. Just the hard ground crushing your body, the chill air and a coppery taste in your mouth reminding you, like in those moments before when you wanted to give up, that this is not yet the end, you can still win, if you only take one more breath and get up again. After all, the only failures around here are those who don't mind the earth crushing them, don't mind that they will decay and disappear. The person who stands up might not always be the winner, but goddamnit he is closer to it than the one on the ground.

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How did I do? This fanfic was more of a try to create abstract feelings in the reader than anything else. Practice if you will. Anybody got some constructive criticism? Please review!


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